Tag: film reviews

Evil Laugh (1986) review

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

Evil Laugh posterDirector: Dominick Brascia

Starring: Ashlyn Gere, Steven Baio, Jerold Pearson, Jody Gibson

“These things don’t happen in New York. I just hope a guy in a hockey mask named Jason doesn’t show up.” (Barney, Evil Laugh)

Sometimes when I’m in the mood to watch a completely random horror film, I tend to use two qualifying questions: 1) Is it from the ’80s? and 2) Does it have a weird name?

It was this vetting process that led to my discovery of Evil Laugh, a 1986 slasher that has somehow slipped between the horror cracks over the years. This surprised me because I found it pretty bloody entertaining.

In it, a group of medical students (all of whom look much older than they’re probably supposed to be) travel to a large secluded house to help their friend fix it up and turn it into a foster home.

Sadly, there’s a slight issue with the house: it used to be an orphanage. That’s not the problem, mind. The problem is that ten years ago, all the adults and children living in it were slaughtered by a madman who then set the house on fire, dying himself in the blaze. Continue reading “Evil Laugh (1986) review” →

The Interview (2014) review

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

The Interview posterDirectors: Evan Goldberg, Seth Rogen

Starring: James Franco, Seth Rogen, Randall Park, Lizzy Caplan, Diana Bang

SKYLARK – “Holy fuckamole! Is that tank real?”

KIM JONG-UN – “It was a gift to my grandfather from Stalin.”

SKYLARK – “In my country it’s pronounced ‘Stallone’.”

Few films have courted as much controversy as The Interview has this year.

Originally due for mainstream cinema release, an alleged North Korean hack of Sony Pictures and threats made to cinemas planning to show it caused the studio to initially pull the film shortly before it was due to come out.

After objections were raised by none other than President Obama, Sony Pictures did a u-turn and not only released the film in a select number of cinemas, but also made it available for purchase digitally. On Xbox. Despite being Sony.

Why the drama? Because the film takes the piss out of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and has a plot based on an attempt to assassinate him.

This obviously isn’t the first time a comedy film’s mocked a present-day dictator: the Three Stooges did it way back in 1940 with You Nazty Spy, followed shortly by Charlie Chaplin’s fantastic The Great Dictator.

It isn’t even the first to mock a North Korean one, given Team America‘s less than glowing portrayal of the Great Leader’s dad, Kim Jong-il. However, it’s one of the rare occasions in which a film about a dictator-run country is met with condemnation and threats by said country before it’s even released.

Is the actual film itself worth all the fuss though? Well, having watched it I can proudly declare that the answer is an overwhelming “meh”. Continue reading “The Interview (2014) review” →

The Babadook (2014) review

Published on by Chris Scullion3 Comments

The Babadook posterDirector: Jennifer Kent

Starring: Essie Davis, Noah Wiseman, Daniel Henshall, Hayley McIlhinney, voice of Tim Purcell

AMELIA – “If the Babadook was real we’d see it right now, wouldn’t we?”
SAMUEL – “It wants to scare you first. Then you’ll see it.”
AMELIA – “Well, I’m not scared.”
SAMUEL – “You will be when it creeps into your room at night.”
AMELIA – “That’s enough.”
SAMUEL – “You will be when it eats your insides.”

Living in London as I currently do, I take the Tube into work. Right where I stand to wait for my train, there’s been a poster for The Babadook up on the wall for the last month or two.

I’ve spent so long studying that poster (as you do when you’re bored) I’ve memorised the four review quotes on it, and can recite them off by heart.

“There goes your peaceful night’s sleep,” reads one. “One of the strongest, most effective horror films of recent years,” declares another.

“Truly frightening,” a third simply states. And then, the fourth and final claim that truly piqued my interest: “A flat-out masterpiece.”

I was curious. After all, in my eyes the horror genre hasn’t been blessed with too many masterpieces in recent years. Sadly, having now watched The Babadook, that situation hasn’t changed for me. Continue reading “The Babadook (2014) review” →

Out now – That Was A Bit Mental: Volume 2 – The ebook!

Published on by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

Hello Chris.

Why, hello there, imaginary reader that I’m using as a cliched way to introduce something by adding a humourous everyman ‘sidekick’! Long time no see.

TWABM 2 coverQuite. Where the fuck have you been?

Sorry?

I’ve been checking your site every day and you’ve barely posted anything in months. Pull the finger out, you complete wanker.

Steady on, mate. I’ve been busy, you know.

Busy with what? Your ‘job’?

No, with That Was A Bit Mental stuff.

But how…? That makes no sense.

I’ve been spending the last few months working on the That Was A Bit Mental Volume 2 ebook, you silly dick.

Ahhh, right. I get it now. When’s it going to be ready?

It’s ready now. Didn’t you read the headline?

Alright, you cheeky bastard. What’s in it then?

Another 100 reviews from the site in ‘Director’s Cut’ form, with all the typos fixed, all the shit jokes replaced with slightly less shit ones and generally made more entertaining. Continue reading “Out now – That Was A Bit Mental: Volume 2 – The ebook!” →

TWABM Vol 2 eBook – FREE for a limited time!

Published on by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

TWABM 2 coverIt’s that festive time of the year where giving is more important than receiving… or at least that’s what I try to tell my loved ones when I’m trying to get more Blu-rays from them for Christmas.

That’s why I’m giving you a Christmas present.

Last week I hit a delightful wee milestone, in that my ebook That Was A Bit Mental Volume 1 hit 600 downloads. For a wee book that has had zero publicity other than a few tweets, I’m delighted with this.

To celebrate, and to get you in the Christmas spirit, I’m giving you my follow-up ebook, That Was A Bit Mental Volume 2.

Yes, just giving you it. For free. Continue reading “TWABM Vol 2 eBook – FREE for a limited time!” →

The TWABM Advent Calendar (AKA the 25 best Christmas horror movies)

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments

It’s December, and that can only mean one thing. Yes, it’s Slovenian Independence Day on the 26th.

As a warm-up to that big occasion, there’s also a smaller event on the previous day called Christmas, where families come together and give each other presents and eat food and get fat and get miserable for the next eleven months until they lose the fat then they decide to lose more weight because they know they’re probably going to get fat again next Christmas. It’s good fun.

With that in mind, I’ve put together a list of the 25 Christmas horror films you should watch to get in the festive mood. Ladies, gentlemen, children with irresponsible parents who let you watch films you’re too young for, I give you the That Was A Bit Mental Shoddily Photoshopped Advent Calendar Of Christmas Horror Films And That. Continue reading “The TWABM Advent Calendar (AKA the 25 best Christmas horror movies)” →

The House Of Him (2014) review

Published on by Chris Scullion2 Comments

The House Of Him posterDirector: Robert Florence

Starring: Richard Rankin, Louise Stewart, Kirsty Strain, Hope Florence, Amy E Watson

“I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid. I mean, Sophie and I, we could see the windows were boarded up from the outside… and we still went in with him. So stupid. Everything was wrong, and we still went inside with him.” (Anna, The House Of Him)

At the time of writing this review, my day job is being heavily scrutinised by a bunch of scrotes who claim to be trying to expose a lack of ‘ethics’ in video game journalism.

In reality it’s a front for something much more sinister, much darker and misogynist in nature. While this is actually fairly apt when talking about The House Of Him, it’s not why I bring it up.

Instead, it’s just a wanky way for me to bring up this full disclosure: I know Robert Florence, the lovely Glaswegian chap who wrote, directed and edited this film. I consider him a friend and I’d like to think the feeling is mutual.

Despite this friendship, and the fact I love most of the stuff he does, that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of criticising him. He wanted Scottish independence, I didn’t. He loves Dynasty Warriors games, I think they’re pish.

So I approached The House Of Him with a mixture of excitement and fear. Excitement because I love the vast majority of stuff Rab does – his sketch shows, his games writing, his vintage video game webshow Consolevania, which was fucking nailing it many years before the era of annoying YouTubers began.

The Changing Rooms reboot was deemed a little too dark for daytime ITV audiences
The Changing Rooms reboot was deemed a little too dark for daytime ITV audiences

But also fear, because should it turn out to be shite, I would be placed in the awkward position of reviewing a mate’s work and slapping a pishy wee single-star rating on it then hoping he didn’t notice.

After all, comedy writing and video games writing are one thing, but I would imagine making a horror film requires a completely different skillset.

Thankfully I can rest easy, because The House Of Him is not shite. Far from it, in fact. Continue reading “The House Of Him (2014) review” →

Gone Girl (2014) review

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Gone Girl posterDirector: David Fincher

Starring: Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, Carrie Coon, Kim Dickens, Patrick Fugit, Neil Patrick Harris, Tyler Perry

“What are you thinking? What are you feeling? What have we done to each other? What will we do?” (Nick, Gone Girl)

If man-crushes are indeed a real thing, then my man-crush is Ben Affleck.

I don’t give shit haters, bring it. Never mind the fact he was amazing in Argo and glorious in Good Will Hunting, those are a given.

He was also charming in Chasing Amy, delightful in Dogma and yes, despite what popular opinion (and Team America) would have you believe, peerless in Pearl Harbour.

Is he great in Gone Girl, then? You’d better believe it, friend. In fact, almost everyone is. Continue reading “Gone Girl (2014) review” →

The Spanish Chainsaw Massacre (2013) review

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spanish chainsaw massacre posterDirector: Manolito Motosierra

Starring: Pedro García Oliva, Óscar Gisbert, Nereida López

Also known as: Carnívoros

OSCAR – “Before we have sex, I need to know your name.”

YOLANDA – “They call me… Spain’s bitch.”

OSCAR – “Oh! Yeah! That’s right. Ole to your father. Not Maria, or Theresa, but Spain’s bitch. Direct and patriotic, I like it.”

In my view, it’s all well and good making a gore movie as long as there’s a half-decent plot to back it up. The Spanish Chainsaw Massacre sticks two fingers up to this notion, before presumably chopping them off.

When the story’s so basic that the entire film can be summed up with a single sentence that speaks volumes, so here goes:

A band called The Metal Dicks have problems with their van while on the road, so they head to the nearest village, which is populated by cannibals who set about eating them.

That’s really all there is to it. There are no twists and – unless you count the ones an unwitting viewer’s stomach will take while watching – no turns. Continue reading “The Spanish Chainsaw Massacre (2013) review” →

Test Tube Teens From The Year 2000 (1994) review

Published on by Chris Scullion1 Comment

Test Tube Teens From The Year 2000 posterDirector: David DeCoteau

Starring: Morgan Fairchild, Brian Bremer, Christopher Wolf, Sara Suzanne Brown, Michele Matheson, Don Dowe

Also known as: Virgin Hunters

“We come from your future. Our mission here is to prevent a corporate takeover of the planet, and the banning of sex between consenting adults.” (Naldo, Test Tube Teens From The Year 2000)

Let’s face it, even if you don’t know anything about this film you already know why I decided to watch and review it.

Yes, I’m a sucker for a great film title, and if my rating at the end of each review was based on titles alone this little beauty would find itself in the Hall Of Fame with gusto.

Sadly however, the film itself doesn’t quite live up to the heady expectations set by its name – how could it ever expect to? – and as such the number of Trevor Moorhouse heads you see at the bottom is lower than one would have hoped.

Here’s another thing I didn’t expect: it turns out that rather than the comedy sci-fi film I was expecting, this is actually supposed to be a softcore porn film. Oh. Continue reading “Test Tube Teens From The Year 2000 (1994) review” →