Why, hello there, imaginary reader that I’m using as a cliched way to introduce something by adding a humourous everyman ‘sidekick’! Long time no see.
I’ve been checking your site every day and you’ve barely posted anything in months. Pull the finger out, you complete wanker.
Steady on, mate. I’ve been busy, you know.
Busy with what? Your ‘job’?
No, with That Was A Bit Mental stuff.
But how…? That makes no sense.
I’ve been spending the last few months working on the That Was A Bit Mental Volume 2 ebook, you silly dick.
Ahhh, right. I get it now. When’s it going to be ready?
It’s ready now. Didn’t you read the headline?
Alright, you cheeky bastard. What’s in it then?
Another 100 reviews from the site in ‘Director’s Cut’ form, with all the typos fixed, all the shit jokes replaced with slightly less shit ones and generally made more entertaining.
Have you done those extra bits again that were in the first one?
Yup. Every review will have a ‘bits and pieces’ section, exclusive to the ebook, which contains a couple of other facts and musings on the film in question.
Is it as long as the first book too?
It’s longer! Volume 1 was 346 pages long, but Volume 2 is a massive 415 pages. That’s nearly 100,000 words of goodness for less than half the price of a magazine.
Brilliant, count me in. Um…
Do I need a Kindle for it again?
Well, it’s only on the Kindle Store for now, so…
Because that’s why I didn’t buy the first ebook, because I don…
What?! You didn’t buy the first one? But you’ve been invented solely to help me sell the fucker!
I know, but I don’t have a Kindle. They’re shite.
They’re not, but that doesn’t matter. I told you last time you don’t need a Kindle.
How can I read it then?
You can get a free Kindle app for any iPhone, iPad, Android or Windows Phone or tablet you can think of. The app acts like a Kindle and lets you read books from the Kindle Store.
So I can read it on my iPad?
Or my Galaxy Tab?
Or my Microsoft Surface Pro?
How many fucking tablets do you need, mate?
Sorry. I got a bit carried away.
It’s fine. I can’t stay mad at you. You’re basically me, after all.
So where can I buy this beautiful booky bastard then?
Why, I’m glad you/I asked. You can buy it right now from the Kindle Store, either through the app, the Kindle itself or directly from Amazon. Here’s a link and everything.
Wow, it’s reasonably priced.
Well, I’m a reasonable man. The first ebook initially went on sale for $3.49 and £2.22, but this time I’m lowballing by setting the launch price at $2.99 and £1.54. Yes, I deliberately made the UK price lower so America can be screwed on price conversion for once.
Speaking of America, I live there and that link is totally bogus, dudes, and such.
Ah, that’s because it’s an Amazon.co.uk link. Here’s a link to the US version.
Can I still buy the first book then? Because, like I say, I didn’t before.
Yes, of course you can right that wrong. That Was A Bit Mental: Volume 1 is still available for the reduced price of £1.02, so why not get both? Combined you’re talking a massive 183,000 words (around 760 pages) of film review goodness.
Why, I may never need to read another book again for the rest of my life.
Steady on mate. I’ll be doing a third one next year.
Am I fired?
Well, I didn’t want your shitey copy and paste book anyway, you big useless prick.