Starring: Pedro García Oliva, Óscar Gisbert, Nereida López
Also known as: Carnívoros
OSCAR – “Before we have sex, I need to know your name.”
YOLANDA – “They call me… Spain’s bitch.”
OSCAR – “Oh! Yeah! That’s right. Ole to your father. Not Maria, or Theresa, but Spain’s bitch. Direct and patriotic, I like it.”
In my view, it’s all well and good making a gore movie as long as there’s a half-decent plot to back it up. The Spanish Chainsaw Massacre sticks two fingers up to this notion, before presumably chopping them off.
When the story’s so basic that the entire film can be summed up with a single sentence that speaks volumes, so here goes:
A band called The Metal Dicks have problems with their van while on the road, so they head to the nearest village, which is populated by cannibals who set about eating them.
That’s really all there is to it. There are no twists and – unless you count the ones an unwitting viewer’s stomach will take while watching – no turns. Continue reading “The Spanish Chainsaw Massacre (2013) review”