Starring: Matthew Laborteaux, Kristy Swanson, Michael Sharrett, Anne Ramsey, Anne Twomey
“Wait, she’s dead? Hey, what the hell are you doing? You didn’t say anything about a dead body, we were supposed to save her life.” (Tom, Deadly Friend)
I never get tired of saying this, but God bless the 1980s. No other decade could give you a film with a plot that begins with “a boy, his mum and his robot move into a new house” and not have that be the oddest thing about it by the time the credits roll.
Starring: Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Dan O’Herlihy, Belinda Bauer, Tom Noonan, Gabriel Damon
CAIN – “You want me?” ROBOCOP – “Dead or alive.” CAIN – “One of us must die.” ROBOCOP – “Dead, then.”
Spare a thought for Alex Murphy.
Having gained recognition as a top-notch cop, he was soon transferred to Detroit where he was promptly peppered with bullets and literally blown to pieces before his first shift had even ended.
Then, rather than being allowed to rest in peace, his head and brain were slapped inside a big robotic body and he became Robocop, a living test subject created as a prototype for the future of law enforcement.
Starring: Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Kurtwood Smith, Miguel Ferrer, Dan O’Herlihy, Ronny Cox
REPORTER – “Robo! Excuse me Robo, any special message for all the kids watching at home?”
ROBOCOP – “Stay out of trouble.”
What can be said about Robocop that hasn’t already been said? Probably that it’s a satirical medieval-themed romp about an enchanted candlestick. And that’s probably because it isn’t entirely accurate.
Still, I might as well throw my opinion into the endless ocean of praise it’s received since its released back in 1987, just in case you’ve already heard 17,000 people say it’s great and you’re the sort of person who isn’t convinced unless you’ve heard 17,001. Continue reading “Robocop (1987) review”→
Starring: Don Michael Paul, Barbara Crampton, James Staley, Lisa Rinna, Danny Kamekona
DRAKE – “It’s getting ugly out here chief, request surface troops on the double.”
LT PLUNKETT – “Request denied. Stop acting like a weak sister.”
As you may have guessed, this review isn’t about the 1998 BBC TV show in which Craig Charles commentated while a bunch of pale recluses battled their own custom-made robots, before fidgeting nervously as the producers cruelly get a beautiful woman to try and get an excruciating interview out of them.
No, this is yet another low-budget offering by beloved B-movie studio Full Moon, this time pitting two massive mechanical monstrosities against each other while the filmmakers cruelly get a beautiful woman to try and solve a mystery in the process.