Nazis At The Center Of The Earth (2012) review

Nazis At The Center Of The Earth posterDirector: Joseph J Lawson

Starring: Dominique Swain, Jake Busey, Joshua Allen, Christopher Johnson

Also known as: Bloodstorm (UK DVD)

“Come on, you bobble-headed zombie Nazi son of a bitch! Fick dich!” (Dr Paige Morgan, Nazis At The Center Of The Earth)

I’ve spoken in the past about The Asylum, the delightfully shameless film studio that have no qualms about constantly releasing low-budget rip-offs of popular films to trick confused mothers at video rental stores (Snakes On A Train, Paranormal Entity and Atlantic Rim spring to mind).

With said rental stores on the way out though, The Asylum have instead seemingly switched their focus to original movies, albeit completely ridiculous ones.

Recently they struck gold with Sharknado, the does-what-it-says-on-the-tin film that’s so bonkers it ended up trending on Twitter in the UK when it aired on SyFy. This one, though, may have taken things a little too far. Continue reading “Nazis At The Center Of The Earth (2012) review”

Halloween: Resurrection (2002) review

Halloween Resurrection posterDirector: Rick Rosenthal

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Brad Loree, Busta Rhymes, Bianca Kajlich, Sean Patrick Thomas, Daisy McCrackin

“Trick or treat, muthafucka.” (Freddie Harris, Halloween: Resurrection)

Miramax achieved the impossible by taking the flatlining Halloween series and resurrecting it with the back-to-basics Halloween H20.

With Michael Myers relevant and scary again, it was therefore inevitable that another Halloween would come, even though it seemed Myers was well and truly dead after the last film.

How did they manage to bring the pale pursuer back then? Well, I’ll tell you, because I’m nice like that. Continue reading “Halloween: Resurrection (2002) review”

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998) review

Halloween H20 posterDirector: Steve Miner

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Josh Hartnett, Michelle Williams, Adam Arkin, LL Cool J, Janet Leigh, Chris Durand

JOHN – It just occurred to me today that I’ve never celebrated Halloween before.

MOLLY – And why’s that?

JOHN – Oh, we’ve got a psychotic serial killer in the family who loves to butcher people on Halloween, and I just thought it in bad taste to celebrate.

After the train wreck that was Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers I’m surprised Dimension Films and Miramax had the gall to bring ol’ paleface back yet again.

Still, bring him back they did, in a film made to mark the 20th anniversary of the original Halloween. And you know something? They actually did a decent job this time.

Perhaps realising the previous film had become a confusing mess with a plot consisting of evil cults, a convoluted bloodline, adopted children and Paul Rudd, Halloween H20 scraps it all and instead provides an alternative timeline in which the events of Halloween 4, Halloween 5 and Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers never happened. Continue reading “Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998) review”

Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989) review

Sleepaway Camp III posterDirector: Michael A Simpson

Starring: Pamela Springsteen, Tracy Griffith, Michael J Pollard, Mark Oliver

CINDY – “Why are you doing this to me?”

ANGELA – “Because you’re a cheerleader, a fornicator, a drug taker, a nasty snotty bigot… and besides that, you’re real nice.”

Here’s some advice. If you’re ever at a pub quiz and one of the questions is “what do Sleepaway Camp and Back To The Future have in common?”, your response should be two sentences.

The first: “That’s a pretty fucking obscure film to be bringing up in a pub quiz, considering the public in general aren’t familiar with the Sleepaway Camp series.”

The second: “Nevertheless, the answer to your niche question is that both had their second and third movies shot back-to-back.” Continue reading “Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989) review”

Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers (1995) review

Halloween The Curse Of Michael Myers posterDirector: Joe Chappelle

Starring: Donald Pleasence, Paul Rudd, Marianne Hagan

“Enough of this Michael Myers bullshit!” (John Strode, Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers)

It says a lot about a film when the stories of its behind-the-scenes turmoil and tantrums are more interesting than the story that ended up on the screen.

This was the curious condition inflicted on Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers, the sixth film in the Halloween series. Plagued by in-fighting and studio politics before a single frame was even shot, the conflict continued to escalate throughout production.

It’s said that the original script for the film was so powerful a Dimension exec couldn’t sleep the night after reading it, and Halloween regular Donald Pleasence (who had starred as Dr Sam Loomis in four of the previous five films) loved it too. Continue reading “Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers (1995) review”

Frost (2012) UK trailer

If sci-fi horror set in the snow is your sort of thing (and why wouldn’t it be), then Frost might be right up your frost-encrusted alley.

Originally released in 2012, it’s finally getting a UK DVD release in February, and to celebrate this the fine folks at distribution company Entertainment One have released this UK trailer.

Frost is out on DVD in the UK on 10 February. I’ll have a review on That Was A Bit Mental as soon as possible.

The House Of Him (2014) trailer – One to watch

I’m a massive fan of Rab Florence’s work. A Glaswegian with a passion for gaming, wrestling, comedy and horror films, he’s basically me with talent.

Naturally, this makes me slightly biased when I say the trailer for The House Of Him, the first feature film from his Bold Yin production company, looks fucking brilliant.

After all, how can you possibly take my opinion as an objective one, given that I’m blindly devoted to Rab’s previous work, such as his video game shows Consolevania and Videogaiden and comedy series Burnistoun (of which cast members Louise Stewart, Kirsty Strain and Richard Rankin also star in The House Of Him)?

In fact, you could go so far as to say my opinion is completely worthless here, and that by disclaiming my obvious vested interest at the beginning my view on the trailer has become null and void.

You’d better have a watch for yourself them. BOOM! I GOT YE HOOKED IN, YA BASTARD.

See? I wasn’t lying. It looks amazing. To keep an eye out for The House Of Him as it nears its February 2014 release, you can follow the film’s Facebook page. And, naturally, you can expect a review on That Was A Bit Mental in the near future.

Just, you know… don’t expect me to say it’s shite or anything.

Spirit Trap (2005) review

Spirit Trap posterDirector: David Smith

Starring: Billie Piper, Luke Mably, Sam Troughton, Emma Catherwood, Alsou

JENNY – “It’s a spirit clock. My mum had one.”

ADELE – “So what does it do? Horoscopes or something?”

JENNY – “It’s supposed to be a bridge between our world and the next. It’s a load of crap, really.”

True story: as Billie Piper was flying to Romania to film Spirit Trap, she received a call from her agent telling her she’d just landed the part of Rose Tyler, the assistant in BBC’s reboot of Doctor Who.

Excited, Billie turned to her Spirit Trap co-star Sam Troughton to share her good news. “That’s a coincidence,” Sam replied. “Back in the ’60s, my grandfather, Patrick Troughton, played the second Doctor.”

Interesting stuff eh? Shame they didn’t make a film out of that story instead, because Spirit Trap is a bucket of gash. Continue reading “Spirit Trap (2005) review”

Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988) review

Sleepaway Camp 2 posterDirector: Michael A Simpson

Starring: Pamela Springsteen, Renee Estevez, Tony Higgins

Also known as: Nightmare Vacation II (UK VHS)

ANGELA – “I did my time. Two years of therapy, electroshock, was on every pill you ever heard of, plus an operation. I’m completely cured. If I wasn’t they wouldn’t have let me out. How do you know so much about me?”

SEAN – “My dad’s a cop. He helped arrest you. You should have heard him the day you got out.”

ANGELA – “That’s too bad. Wait until he hears what’s happened to you.”

Warning: The following review spoils the identity of the killer in the original Sleepaway Camp. However, it does not spoil its big twist ending, so if you don’t mind knowing who the killer was you can feel free to read on, safe in the knowledge you’re still in for a shock when you watch the original. Which you really should, you know.

Sleepaway Camp caused something of a dilemma. When you end a film in such a shocking, outrageous manner, how exactly can you follow that up? Sleepaway Camp II decided the answer was to give the original’s killer a completely different personality.

Years after butchering a load of kids in Camp Arawak all those years ago, Angela Baker has gone through extensive electro-shock therapy and psychiatric treatment. She decides the best thing to do is get a job as a counsellor at a new summer camp, seeing as everything went so well the last time. Continue reading “Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988) review”

The TWABM ebook – sale now on!

Hey! You there. Haven’t you bought the That Was A Bit Mental Volume 1 ebook yet?

GhouliesIf not, you are to be rewarded for your apathy and/or laziness, because I’m dropping the price for a limited time to mark the New Year.

Yes, for a short period you can now download the ebook for only £0.99 / $1.59, instead of the usual price of £2.22 / $3.49.

That’s less than a quid for 350 pages of sarcastic cult movie reviews, a hundred of the buggers in total. And you probably can’t say fairer than that – though to be fair I haven’t researched that claim much.

So pop over to Amazon and get That Was A Bit Mental Volume 1 now from the Kindle store while it’s dirt cheap. You don’t need to have a Kindle – it also works a treat on the Kindle app on iOS, Android and Windows.

NOTE: For some reason Amazon can be a little weird when I try to change the price, so you may be charged a couple of pence more (at the time of writing, for example, it’s £1.02 instead of £0.99).