Author: Chris Scullion

Chris Scullion is a Scottish video games journalist who's been covering video games professionally for 16 years. For the first six years of his career he worked at the Official Nintendo Magazine in the UK, then became the Games Editor of CVG before its untimely end. After setting up his own site, Tired Old Hack, Chris then joined Video Games Chronicle (VGC) where he is currently Features Editor. He has a passion for retro games and cataloguing their history, hence his ongoing series of console encyclopedia books (search his name on Amazon).

Hell Comes To Frogtown (1988) review

Published on January 16, 2014January 16, 2014 by Chris Scullion2 Comments

Directors: Donald G Jackson, RJ Kizer

Starring: Roddy Piper, Sandahl Bergman

“Eat lead, froggies!” (Sam Hell, Hell Comes To Frogtown)

Hell Comes To Frogtown has one of the greatest premises in film history.

It’s set in the future, after a nuclear war has turned America into a sort of Mad Max/Fallout post-apocalyptic wasteland. Due to the radiation, the world’s population is either dead or sterile.

That is, except for a handful of females scattered throughout the land and one man, Sam Hell (wrestling legend Rowdy Roddy Piper).

"So I basically have to go around shagging everyone? That seems a bit... convenient" — “So I basically have to go around shagging everyone? That seems a bit… convenient”

Hell is captured by the government and told he has to travel around the country, having sex with as many of the fertile women as he can so he can re-populate the planet.

A big pair of explosive underpants are attached to Hell and he’s told that if he tries to escape they’ll explode. Suprisingly, Sam doesn’t seem too happy with this agreement for some reason.

He’s also none too pleased when he’s told that a group of these nubile, fertile young women are being held prisoner in Frogtown, an area populated by mutants who have evolved into walking, talking frog people, and that he has to head into Frogtown and rescue them.

Al Pacino was looking a little worse for wear

The resulting 85 minutes is a collection of mental scenes. One minute you’re watching Roddy Piper kick the shit out of a giant frog man, the next he’s riding around in a big armoured pink truck, the next his doctor is doing a special dance for the leader of the frogs, who becomes visibly aroused (yes, complete with a noticeable froggy erection). It’s just bizarre.

Credit has to go to the film’s script, however. It’s filled with great one-liners, especially during the back end of the movie, and the over-dramatic ham acting really adds to the dialogue. Here’s one of my favourite scenes as an example:

Hell Comes To Frogtown is crazier than a dolphin filled with cheese, but it’s a good laugh and one you should watch if you’ve got some chums willing to watch.

It’s odd in that it feels like it should be in the “so bad it’s good” camp alongside the likes of Troll 2, even though its production quality is reasonably high.

One thing’s for sure however – after one watch this will definitely blast its way into your top five post-apocalyptic frog mutant films. Check out the trailer below and tell me you’re not interested.

HOW CAN I SEE IT?
Until recently, the only way to get Hell Comes To Frogtown in the UK was to buy the out-of-print DVD which was released as part of Boulevard Entertainment’s B-Movie DVD Collection series.

That all changes on 27 January when Arrow Video release a brilliant dual-format Blu-ray/DVD set featuring a new transfer and loads of extra features.

Arrow’s easily the best label at the moment when it comes to cult and horror releases and I can happily confirm its treatment of Hell Comes To Frogtown is immense. The interview with Roddy Piper in particular is brilliant. I highly recommend you pre-order it here.

As for the US, I’m afraid it’s DVD-only for now. You can buy it standalone here or get it in a double-bill with Def-Con 4 here.

SHOW ME THE TRAILER:

Heretic (2012) review

Published on January 15, 2014January 15, 2014 by Chris Scullion2 Comments

Director: Peter Handford

Starring: Andrew Squires, Michael J Tait, Jen Nelson, James Zakeri

TOM – “You need to go now, Father. You need to walk away.”

JAMES – “I can’t do that, Tom.”

TOM – “Yes you can. You did when we asked for your help. I came to you, I confessed to you. And so did she. And what did you do? Three Hail Marys and a Go Fuck Yourself.”

I don’t think I could be a priest. One of the reasons for this is I haven’t been to a chapel in years (I’m fairly sure one of the requirements is you have to do that every now and then), but another is that I couldn’t be trusted to keep my parishioners’ confessions a secret.

“What’s that? You’ve been fiddlng the dog? Um, say a Hail Mary and… um, hang on… what? No, I’m just texting… someone. It’s unrelated, I promise.” Continue reading “Heretic (2012) review” →

Nazis At The Center Of The Earth (2012) review

Published on January 14, 2014January 14, 2014 by Chris Scullion1 Comment

Director: Joseph J Lawson

Starring: Dominique Swain, Jake Busey, Joshua Allen, Christopher Johnson

Also known as: Bloodstorm (UK DVD)

“Come on, you bobble-headed zombie Nazi son of a bitch! Fick dich!” (Dr Paige Morgan, Nazis At The Center Of The Earth)

I’ve spoken in the past about The Asylum, the delightfully shameless film studio that have no qualms about constantly releasing low-budget rip-offs of popular films to trick confused mothers at video rental stores (Snakes On A Train, Paranormal Entity and Atlantic Rim spring to mind).

With said rental stores on the way out though, The Asylum have instead seemingly switched their focus to original movies, albeit completely ridiculous ones.

Recently they struck gold with Sharknado, the does-what-it-says-on-the-tin film that’s so bonkers it ended up trending on Twitter in the UK when it aired on SyFy. This one, though, may have taken things a little too far. Continue reading “Nazis At The Center Of The Earth (2012) review” →

Halloween: Resurrection (2002) review

Published on January 13, 2014 by Chris Scullion1 Comment

Director: Rick Rosenthal

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Brad Loree, Busta Rhymes, Bianca Kajlich, Sean Patrick Thomas, Daisy McCrackin

“Trick or treat, muthafucka.” (Freddie Harris, Halloween: Resurrection)

Miramax achieved the impossible by taking the flatlining Halloween series and resurrecting it with the back-to-basics Halloween H20.

With Michael Myers relevant and scary again, it was therefore inevitable that another Halloween would come, even though it seemed Myers was well and truly dead after the last film.

How did they manage to bring the pale pursuer back then? Well, I’ll tell you, because I’m nice like that. Continue reading “Halloween: Resurrection (2002) review” →

That Was A Bit Mental in 2014 – Onwards and upwards

Published on January 11, 2014January 11, 2014 by Chris ScullionLeave a comment

Last year I posted a grand total of 23 articles on That Was A Bit Mental. This year is only eleven days old and already this is the tenth article posted.

"Right, who's covered up my eyeholes with black card again? It's not funny lads, that's health and safety, that is" — By the end of the month, every Halloween and Friday The 13th film should have a review on the site

There are a few reasons for this. Last year was a pretty hectic one in my life, with various major events taking place at different points in the year.

At the start of the year I took on a new job, as the Games Editor of CVG. Moving from single-format publications (Official Nintendo Magazine and Nintendo Gamer) to a multi-format one required a different mindset and a different working style, so in the first few months I was so focused on that my personal site – which is only a hobby, mind – had to take a back seat.

In May I got married to my awesome wife Louise. Anyone who’s ever been married knows how much of a bastard it is to plan the wedding, so that took up loads of free time too. Continue reading “That Was A Bit Mental in 2014 – Onwards and upwards” →

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998) review

Published on January 10, 2014January 10, 2014 by Chris Scullion3 Comments

Director: Steve Miner

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Josh Hartnett, Michelle Williams, Adam Arkin, LL Cool J, Janet Leigh, Chris Durand

JOHN – It just occurred to me today that I’ve never celebrated Halloween before.

MOLLY – And why’s that?

JOHN – Oh, we’ve got a psychotic serial killer in the family who loves to butcher people on Halloween, and I just thought it in bad taste to celebrate.

After the train wreck that was Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers I’m surprised Dimension Films and Miramax had the gall to bring ol’ paleface back yet again.

Still, bring him back they did, in a film made to mark the 20th anniversary of the original Halloween. And you know something? They actually did a decent job this time.

Perhaps realising the previous film had become a confusing mess with a plot consisting of evil cults, a convoluted bloodline, adopted children and Paul Rudd, Halloween H20 scraps it all and instead provides an alternative timeline in which the events of Halloween 4, Halloween 5 and Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers never happened. Continue reading “Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998) review” →

Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989) review

Published on January 9, 2014January 9, 2014 by Chris Scullion3 Comments

Director: Michael A Simpson

Starring: Pamela Springsteen, Tracy Griffith, Michael J Pollard, Mark Oliver

CINDY – “Why are you doing this to me?”

ANGELA – “Because you’re a cheerleader, a fornicator, a drug taker, a nasty snotty bigot… and besides that, you’re real nice.”

Here’s some advice. If you’re ever at a pub quiz and one of the questions is “what do Sleepaway Camp and Back To The Future have in common?”, your response should be two sentences.

The first: “That’s a pretty fucking obscure film to be bringing up in a pub quiz, considering the public in general aren’t familiar with the Sleepaway Camp series.”

The second: “Nevertheless, the answer to your niche question is that both had their second and third movies shot back-to-back.” Continue reading “Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989) review” →

Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers (1995) review

Published on January 8, 2014 by Chris Scullion4 Comments

Director: Joe Chappelle

Starring: Donald Pleasence, Paul Rudd, Marianne Hagan

“Enough of this Michael Myers bullshit!” (John Strode, Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers)

It says a lot about a film when the stories of its behind-the-scenes turmoil and tantrums are more interesting than the story that ended up on the screen.

This was the curious condition inflicted on Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers, the sixth film in the Halloween series. Plagued by in-fighting and studio politics before a single frame was even shot, the conflict continued to escalate throughout production.

It’s said that the original script for the film was so powerful a Dimension exec couldn’t sleep the night after reading it, and Halloween regular Donald Pleasence (who had starred as Dr Sam Loomis in four of the previous five films) loved it too. Continue reading “Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers (1995) review” →

Frost (2012) UK trailer

Published on January 7, 2014January 12, 2014 by Chris Scullion1 Comment

If sci-fi horror set in the snow is your sort of thing (and why wouldn’t it be), then Frost might be right up your frost-encrusted alley.

Originally released in 2012, it’s finally getting a UK DVD release in February, and to celebrate this the fine folks at distribution company Entertainment One have released this UK trailer.

Frost is out on DVD in the UK on 10 February. I’ll have a review on That Was A Bit Mental as soon as possible.

The House Of Him (2014) trailer – One to watch

Published on January 6, 2014January 6, 2014 by Chris Scullion1 Comment

I’m a massive fan of Rab Florence’s work. A Glaswegian with a passion for gaming, wrestling, comedy and horror films, he’s basically me with talent.

Naturally, this makes me slightly biased when I say the trailer for The House Of Him, the first feature film from his Bold Yin production company, looks fucking brilliant.

After all, how can you possibly take my opinion as an objective one, given that I’m blindly devoted to Rab’s previous work, such as his video game shows Consolevania and Videogaiden and comedy series Burnistoun (of which cast members Louise Stewart, Kirsty Strain and Richard Rankin also star in The House Of Him)?

In fact, you could go so far as to say my opinion is completely worthless here, and that by disclaiming my obvious vested interest at the beginning my view on the trailer has become null and void.

You’d better have a watch for yourself them. BOOM! I GOT YE HOOKED IN, YA BASTARD.

See? I wasn’t lying. It looks amazing. To keep an eye out for The House Of Him as it nears its February 2014 release, you can follow the film’s Facebook page. And, naturally, you can expect a review on That Was A Bit Mental in the near future.

Just, you know… don’t expect me to say it’s shite or anything.