Hello again, Chris.
Hello there, disembodied voice who is actually me trying to create a slightly more entertaining narrative by writing in a Q&A style. How are things?
Not bad. I’ve just had my dinner and I’m in the process of considering what to do with the rest of the evening.
(Careful mate, you’re building your part up a bit.)
What’s that? You don’t know what to do this evening? Why not buy and download That Was A Bit Mental: Volume 1?
Buy and download? Are you out of your bastard mind? That Was A Bit Mental is a website, not a book.
Not any more, aggressive imaginary person! That Was A Bit Mental: Volume 1 is finally available for download on Kindle devices and any other device with access to a Kindle app.
Took you long enough.
Indeed. Turns out re-editing 100 reviews, adding extra trivia and jokes to them and researching DVD and Blu-ray information on all of them took well over a hundred hours of spare time, something I didn’t actually have a lot of what with getting married and all.
Anyway, it’s here now, so what do I get for my cashish?
Well, you get… cashish?
It’s a combination of cash and hashish. I thought it’d be funny.
It isn’t. Don’t try and steal my thunder here mate.
Just tell me what’s in the fucking book.
That Was A Bit Mental: Volume 1 features ‘remastered’ versions of the first 100 reviews published on the website. Every review has been painstakingly re-edited, with all typos fixed, odd-sounding sentences re-written, out-of-date jokes made more relevant and more bad puns thrown in for good measure.
Bad puns? Ugh.
Well they’re a lot better than fucking “cashish”, I can tell you that much.
Noted. Go on.
As well as updated versions of the reviews themselves (and some of the older ones, where I didn’t really know what I was doing, have been given a serious revamp), all 100 reviews also feature a new Bits & Pieces section in which I give extra trivia, observations and opinions that I would have liked to have added in the original reviews but couldn’t really fit in anywhere without ruining their pacing. Think of them as a sort of “oh, and one other thing” additions to each review that ensure even the most die-hard TWABM reader will get some content they haven’t already read on the website.
What if I read a review of a film and decide I want to see it? Are you going to just leave me hanging like a… like a…
Like a man convicted of murder in 1960’s Britain?
Um, if you like.
Fret not, chum. Every review has a completely updated ‘How to see it’ section explaining the various DVD and Blu-ray versions available at the time of writing in both the UK and USA. If a film is only available in America, I’ll advise if it’s region free and therefore whether Brits can still import it.
Don’t you have a ‘How to see it’ bit on the website anyway?
I do now, but I didn’t introduce that until later in the site’s life so the first 70 films or so never had that information. I’ve now added it for those 70 and also updated it for the other 30, because most of those have seen new DVD and Blu-ray releases since then.
Delightful. I’m concerned though. If you spent hundreds of hours working on this, I get the feeling this is going to cost a bomb.
You don’t really think much of me as a person, do you? Considering you’re actually me, I’m worried there are some underlying self-confidence issues here.
No, I’m setting you up so you can proudly declare that it’s actually quite reasonably priced.
Ahhhh, brilliant work. In that case, yes, it is indeed. The US price is $3.49 and – because I hate when companies round up prices and screw British customers – the UK price will be the perfectly converted £2.22. It’s an awkward-looking price, but it ensures Brits pay exactly the same as Americans rather than me just rounding it up to £2.49 or something.
So it’s $3.49 in America and £2.22 in the UK. That is indeed very affordable. Cheaper than a magazine, even.
Quite. And it’s not like it’s short on value, considering it’s over 86,000 words long.
I can’t imagine how long that is. I demand a comparison to a well-known book.
Of course. Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone was 76,944 words long, and its sequel Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets was 85,141 words long.
So I suppose you could say it’s a wizard deal!
I swear to Christ, shut your mouth.
Sorry. Anyway, this all sounds rather splendid, I would very much like to buy this electronic book of which you speak. There’s just one problem.
You don’t exist, and are therefore unable to buy things?
There are just two problems.
What’s the other one?
You say it’s on the Kindle store, but I don’t have a Kindle.
That’s alright, you don’t need one.
Alright, steady on. Yes, though it is indeed only available on the Kindle store, that doesn’t mean you need to own a Kindle to be able to read it. There are Kindle apps available for the iPhone, iPad, Android phones and tablets, Windows Phone and Windows 8 devices, meaning if you own any of these you can read the book on those too.
How do I get it then?
Two ways. If you have a Kindle, just head to the Kindle store and search for That Was A Bit Mental. If not, and you’re using a Kindle app, head to this link and buy the book through Amazon. Then load up your Kindle app, log in with your Amazon account and you’ll be able to download the book.
Note: That link is for the Amazon UK version. If you live in a different country and want to buy it using your own currency, go to your own country’s Amazon and search for That Was A Bit Mental there. It’s available in every country’s store.
Brilliant. So what’s next?
What do you mean?
Well, you’ve barely posted a review on the site in 2013, and you previously said that was because you were too busy 1) getting married, 2) getting used to your new job, and 3) working on this ebook. Now that all three are done, does that mean you’ll be posting reviews more regularly again?
Really? Wasn’t expecting you to say that.
Well, it’s true. Expect to see far more regular reviews again. I’ve got an enormous backlog of reviews I want to write up. Expect to see reviews of the rest of the Friday The 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street and Halloween series over the next few months, as well as Curse Of Chucky and loads of other typically nonsensical films. And my campaign to watch all the video nasties will finally be put firmly back on track again, starting with a review of Cannibal Holocaust in the very near future.
Hooray! So when will ebook volume 2 be ready?
We’ll see. There are only 161 reviews on the site to date so I need to hit 200 before even thinking about the second book. But I’ve at least learned plenty of lessons from doing the first one, so when it’s time for the second one it won’t result in the website going out of action for the best part of six months again. Next time there should be very little disruption to the regular flow of reviews that’s about to start again.
Kiss me, you fool.
Go home, imaginary alternative version of me created for humorous narrative purposes, you’re drunk.
So what have we learned from all that shite? Two things – firstly, That Was A Bit Mental: Volume 1 is available NOW from Amazon, exclusively for Kindle and Kindle apps. Get it now and please do give it a positive review once you’re done. The more popular it gets on Amazon, the better it’ll do and the more reviews and ebooks it’ll lead to in the future.
Secondly, now marks the reboot of That Was A Bit Mental’s regular flow of reviews. Expect at least a few reviews every week from now on. Truly, today is a wondrous day. Well, for me at least.