vampires – That Was A Bit Mental

Director: Tom Holland

Starring: William Ragsdale, Chris Sarandon, Amanda Bearse, Roddy McDowall, Stephen Geoffreys, Jonathan Stark, Dorothy Fielding

“I have just been fired because nobody wants to see vampire killers anymore, or vampires either. Apparently all they want to see are demented madmen running around in ski masks, hacking up young virgins.” (Peter Vincent, Fright Night)

The classic Dracula films aside, my favourite vampire movies are the ones set in the present day, taking an ancient monster thats often hundreds of years old and putting them in a modern setting.

No, I’m not talking about that. You wash your mouth out.

I’m talking about stuff like The Lost Boys, Near Dark and Vampire In Brooklyn. Okay, not that last one either.

The point I’m struggling to make here is that Fright Night is great. Well, that could have gone better. Continue reading “Fright Night (1985) review” →

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner

“I hate you for making me want you so much.” (Edward, Twilight)

I’ve spoken of my dislike of a Twilight film before when my girlfriend dragged me to see Breaking Dawn Volume 1, but since then said girlfriend has become a fiancée and as such the values of compromise, sharing and such bollocks are reinforced more than ever. It’s for this reason then that I was recently sat down in front of Twilight, the first film in the interminable Twilight saga and the only one I hadn’t had the “pleasure” of seeing yet. Needless to say, my thoughts on the series haven’t changed after watching this 110-minute prologue.

Not everyone has nearly two hours to watch a bunch of fannies jumping about and pretending to be vampires, so I’ve decided to present you with a slightly rewritten version of the Twilight script. I’ve basically taken out all the needless romance stuff and left you with the core story. Enjoy. Continue reading “Twilight (2008)” →