Killjoy (2000)

Director: Craig Ross Jr

Starring: Angel Vargas, Vera Yell, Lee Marks

“That’s how you bust caps, mother FUCKER!” (Killjoy, Killjoy)

Killjoy is a film about a bullied boy who summons the spirit of an evil voodoo ghetto clown from the ‘hood. If you managed to read that without flinching then you must have truly seen everything the world has to offer.

The story goes that young Michael fancies the girlfriend of Lorenzo, the baddest motherfucker in the whole… um, street. Lorenzo threatens Michael with a gun and tells him that if he ever goes near his lady again he’ll put more holes in him than this movie’s plot.

Easily in the top five things you don't want to look up and see during sex

Eager to get his own back on Lorenzo and the girl (even though she didn’t really do anything), Michael decides to summon Killoy, an evil spirit that messes people up in a way that’s never really explained too well. After sitting a hilariously cheap-looking doll in a room full of candles and asking Killjoy to come, Michael’s prayers are answered and Killjoy starts fucking people up.

Doug enjoyed Turkish Delight a bit too much

This is where the movie starts to make even less sense than it already did. It’s hard to tell whether everyone’s in some sort of dream world, or the real world, or a different dimension or something, and the film can’t really make its own mind up either. One minute the characters are entering an ice cream truck and teleporting into a different room, the next their corpses are turning up in real life. Confusion runs rife.

"My hair? Oh, I was giving my radio a bath"

Also bizarre is Killjoy himself. He’s essentially some sort of ‘gangsta’  clown and as such has some ridiculous lines that make him about as terrifying as a Kriss Kross music video. Watch as he slaps a man to the ground then says “biiiiiii-iiitch”, or attacks a female character before saying “that’s some good pussy”. There’s nothing terrifying about him at all, he’s just a proper pain in the arse.

I can’t really recommend Killjoy, not even as a “so bad it’s good” film, unless you see genuine humour in the idea of a killer clown talking like Chris Rock. It’s so low budget that it goes beyond “how charming” and wanders into “they’re not even fucking trying to make it look good” territory, and as such is more annoying than amusing to watch. Check out the trailer below and you’ll more or less get the full joke.

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