I often joke to people that That Was A Bit Mental is a site where I review “shite ’80s horror films”, but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes they’re from the ’70s.
In all seriousness though, when I say “shite” I mean it in an affectionate way. “Shite” is how the more serious, professional film critics would describe most of the films I watch, but I adore them.
It can sometimes be tricky finding a diamond in the rough though, and as TWABM grows and the number of reviews increases it may become trickier for you, my dear reader, to come here and get a quick and easy suggestion on what to watch.
As well as this, because plenty of people now know me as a chap who loves horror movies, I get a lot of tweets and emails from people asking me to simply “recommend a good horror film to watch”.
Enter the TWABM Hall Of Fame, a list of every review that earned four, four and a half or – the rarest of rare – five stars on That Was A Bit Mental (yes, including the non-horror films). This is for anyone who doesn’t have time to click through my reviews and just wants to see which films I strongly recommend.
If you ever want to see the Hall Of Fame again in the future, just look up. It’s been added to the menu that runs along the top of the page. Meanwhile, if you’d like to see the WORST films on the site, head to the Hall Of Shame.
Naturally, clicking each title will take you to the full review so you can find out more. Enjoy!
FIVE STAR REVIEWS
(HORROR & NON-HORROR)
Alien (1979)
Mining ship lands on a suspicious planet, parasites get on board and start tearing shit up
Aliens (1986)
The survivor from Alien joins a group of marines and goes back to the planet to wipe out the rest of the Aliens
Dawn Of The Dead (1978)
The definitive zombie film. Four people find themselves trapped in a mall swarming with the living dead
The Evil Dead (1981)
A group of chums go for a break in a cabin by the woods and inadvertently recite an incantation that awakens the dead
Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn (1987)
Continuing where the original left off, Ash continues to fight the evil force that led to the possession and death of his friends
The Exorcist (1973)
Little girl is possessed by the devil and starts breaking every taboo known to man
The Exorcist: The Version You’ve Never Seen (2000)
Remastered version of the 1973 original with new, controversial scenes added
Friday The 13th (1980)
A group of nubile, sexually active teens are slaughtered at a summer camp by someone who actually isn’t Jason
Halloween (1978)
Michael Myers escapes from a madhouse and returns to his hometown to try and kill Jamie Lee Curtis
It Follows (2014)
A teenage girl is stalked by a ghostly killer that constantly walks towards her and never stops
Jurassic Park (1993)
Dino theme park goes into meltdown when a fat nerd cuts the power
Night Of The Living Dead (1968)
Zombies attack a small cabin in the woods in this seminal movie masterpiece
A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)
Razor-fingered Freddy Krueger stalks the teenagers of Springwood in their dreams
A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
Patients in a young persons’ asylum combine forces to fight Freddy as he invades their dreams
One Hour Photo (2002)
Robin Williams plays it serious as a disturbed photo developer who becomes obsessed with the family of one of his customers
Pet Sematary (1989)
A doctor’s cat dies and is mysteriously resurrected when he buries it in cursed ground. Then his son dies: guess what he does next
Poltergeist (1982)
An evil spirit inhabits a family home and kidnaps their young daughter, dragging her to a parallel dimension
Suspiria (1977)
An American teenager travels to Germany to attend a prestigious dance school, but she soon finds it’s run by a coven of witches
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
Five teens encounter a psycho cannibal family. Meathooks, hammers and chainsaws galore
Twin Peaks season 1 (1990)
A teenage girl’s body washes up on the beach of a quiet mountain town, so an FBI agent is sent to investigate
FOUR AND A HALF STAR REVIEWS
(HORROR)
Black Christmas (1974)
A bunch of students living together are terrorised by a weirdo leaving strange messages on their phone. What they don’t realise is that he’s calling from upstairs
The Eye (2002)
Terrifying Asian horror in which a blind woman receives a transplant and is given the eyes of someone who could see ghosts
Halloween (2007)
Rob Zombie’s take on the John Carpenter original goes down the gritty, visually shocking route
The House Of Him (2014)
A misogynist killer prepares to claim his 27th victim, but something more powerful is going on in his house
The Lost Boys (1987)
Corey Haim and Corey Feldman team up to stop a vampire Keifer Sutherland turning teens into blood-suckers
The Omen (1976)
An influential US politician adopts a child who happens to be the son of the Devil
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Cheesy camp slasher with one of the genuinely greatest endings in cinematic history
FOUR STAR REVIEWS (HORROR)
28 Days Later (2002)
Zombies run (not walk) around a deserted London
The Attic (2013)
A family moves into a house after two children died in its swimming pool… but their dad is still living there. Guess where
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon (2006)
Spoof documentary following a wannabe horror slasher
The Beyond (1981)
Woman moves to New Orleans to open a hotel. Turns out she’s only gone and bloody opened one built on a gateway to Hell
The Blair Witch Project (1998)
Three students go into the woods to film a documentary but go missing, conveniently leaving their scary-as-shit footage behind
Blood Feast (1963)
Arguably the first truly gory movie, in which a crazed party host plans to kill women to resurrect an Egyptian queen
Bride Of Chucky (1998)
Chucky gets himself a wife as a once-straight horror series turns into a horror comedy
Burial Ground (1981)
A bunch of zombies are unleashed on a mansion for no real reason. This results in the most uncomfortable breastfeeding scene in movie history
The Burning (1981)
After a prank at a summer camp goes wrong, a horribly burnt counsellor returns a decade later armed with a pair of garden shears
Creepshow (1982)
George Romeo and Stephen King’s ace five-tale anthology of comic-style horror tales
Curse Of Chucky (2013)
Everyone’s favourite killer doll returns to joke-free horror
Dead Heat (1988)
A cop is killed and turned into a zombie. He needs to stop the man responsible before he rots away
Deadly Friend (1986)
Your typical ‘boy meets girl, girl dies, boy swaps her brain for his pet robot’s CPU and reanimates her’ story
Fright Night (1985)
A young horror-obsessed lad thinks a vampire has moved in next door, so he enlists a TV actor who played a vampire hunter to help him kill it
Ghostwatch (1992)
Fake BBC reality TV show about a haunted house. So convincing it led to some real-life murders
Halloween II (1981)
Michael Myers continues to stalk Jamie Lee Curtis, this time following her to a hospital
Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982)
The one without Michael Myers in it. A madman wants to harness the power of Stonehenge to kill children with Halloween masks
Heretic (2012)
A haunted priest returns to the home where two of his parishioners committed suicide
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
Creepy German doctor kidnaps three victims and sews them arse-to-mouth to create a single creature
Jason X (2001)
The tenth Friday The 13th film, in which Jason goes to space and is turned into a robotic killing machine
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
A group of teens have a Valentine’s dance, 20 years after a madman said he’d kill anyone who tried to have one
A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
Freddy comes face to face with a teenager who can inherit the abilities of her friends every time he kills one
Paranormal Activity (2007)
A couple record the events on a video camera as a demon tries to terrorise them
Phantasm (1979)
A young lad and his older brother try to figure out what a creepy tall undertaker is doing with the bodies he’s supposed to be burying
Resurrecting The Street Walker (2009)
Fake documentary about a wannabe filmmaker trying to finish an abandoned ’80s video nasty and going slowly insane with the stress
Ringu (1998)
The freaky girl-in-a-dress movie that kickstarted the Japanese horror craze
Rubber (2010)
A rubber tyre rolls around the desert, blowing things up with its psychic powers
Scream (1996)
Teens are killed while making knowing references to horror film cliches
Sin City (2005)
An anthology of film noir stories based on Frank Miller’s stunning comic book series
The Taking Of Deborah Logan (2014)
A medical documentary following a woman with Alzheimer’s takes a dark turn when it turns out she’s suffering from something else
The Thing (2011)
The events leading up to the 1982 John Carpenter classic are finally revealed
Troll 2 (1990)
A family moves into a town inhabited by trolls in what is famously one of the worst movies ever created (Also in the Hall Of Shame)
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992)
A film based on David Lynch’s hit TV series, showing what happened during the days leading up to Laura Palmer’s death
Unfriended (2014)
On the anniversary of a teenager’s suicide, she returns to torment her friends during their Skype group chat
The Vault Of Horror (1973)
Five men recollect dreams they had which involve them dying in gruesome and inventive ways
Zombie Strippers (2008)
A zombie gets into a strip club and attacks one of the strippers. Guess what happens next
FOUR AND A HALF / FOUR STAR REVIEWS (NON-HORROR)
9/11 (2002)
A gripping documentary capturing events both inside and outside the World Trade Center
Any Given Sunday (1999)
Al Pacino plays an aging American football coach struggling to control his new superstar quarterback
Argo (2012)
Ben Affleck tries to smuggle six Americans out of Iran during a revolution by pretending they’re a film crew
Battle Royale (2000)
Japanese schoolkids are dumped on an island and made to kill each other
Best Worst Movie (2009)
A documentary recalling the creation of Troll 2, arguably the worst film ever made
Beyond The Mat (1999)
A surprising documentary exposing the unseen backstage world of professional wrestling
Chronicle (2012)
Three teens get superpowers and struggle to use them responsibly, leading to shit going down
Confessions (2010)
Incredible Japanese movie about a school teacher who decides to punish two of her students for murdering her young daughter
Cube (1997)
Six prisoners awaken inside a massive cube and have no idea why they’re there or how to get out
The Day After (1983)
A nuclear bomb is dropped on Kansas, so Steve Guttenberg and others have to fight for survival
Death Watch (1980)
Forgotten drama set in Scotland in which a terminally ill woman tries to escape being filmed for a reality TV show by a man with a camera in his eye
Drive (2011)
Part-time stuntman, part-time getaway driver gets caught up in a sticky situation involving his neighbour and her ex-con hubby
Election (1999)
Matthew Broderick is a beloved teacher turned nasty when he tries to rig an election so prize student Reese Withspoon doesn’t win
The Exterminator (1980)
Vietnam vet decides to fight New York crime after his buddy is mugged
For Y’ur Height Only (1981)
A 2’9″ Filipino spy tries to take down an evil organisation hell-bent on world domination
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Stanley Kubrick does Vietnam in this shocking and disjointed war epic
Gone Girl (2014)
Ben Affleck’s wife goes missing on their fifth anniversary and the press becomes slowly more convinced he killed her
Hitchcock (2012)
The real-life story of director Alfred Hitchcock and the making of his most famous movie, Psycho
Hobo With A Shotgun (2011)
Homeless chap decides to take the law into his own hands and bring peace to a lawless neighbourhood. With a shotgun
Jurassic World (2015)
The theme park is finally open to visitors, but things go tits-up when a genetically modified super-dino breaks free
The Killers (1964)
A hitman played by Lee Marvin tries to find out why his target didn’t run when he was shot
Major League (1989)
Charlie Sheen joins a baseball team full of no-hopers deliberately chosen to lose and get relocated. Genuine hilarity ensues
The Monster Squad (1987)
Mix the Goonies with Universal monsters to get this fun children’s adventure
The Muppets (2011)
Kermit and crew have to reform for one more show to save their beloved studio
Pee-wee’s Big Adventure (1985)
Innocent man-child travels across America in search of his stolen bicycle
Phantom Of The Paradise (1974)
Wronged music composer dons a helmet and threatens to destroy a concert hall’s opening night. Cue loads of mental glam rock stuff
Planet Of The Apes (1968)
Charlton Heston goes forward in time and lands on a planet where simians rule the roost
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (2011)
Prequel to the ’60s classic which shows how the apes first started their revolt against humans
Robocop (1987)
A hotshot cop is killed by a crime lord, but his body is used to created the robotic future of law enforcement
Rollerball (1975)
In the future, there is no war: only Rollerball, an odd sport in which guys on rollerskates and motorbikes beat the shit out of each other
Snowpiercer (2013)
Following a second ice age, the last surviving humans on Earth struggle to co-exist on a perpetually moving train
Spirited Away (2001)
Amazing Japanese animation in which a young lass tries to rescue her parents from a spirit world
Super 8 (2011)
A group of kids shooting an amateur movie unwittingly become embroiled in an alien conspiracy
Taken (2008)
Liam Neeson’s daughter is kidnapped in Paris, so he goes there and kills loads of people to find her
Twin Peaks season 2 (1990-91)
The case of Laura Palmer’s death is finally solved, but there are otherworldly goings-on yet to be discovered
Voyage Of The Rock Aliens (1984)
A group of music-loving extraterrestrials land on Earth to try to find the source of rock music
Where Do We Go From Here? (2015)
A kind-hearted care home worker decides to bust out three residents to give them the road trip of their life while he tries to find love